How ridiculous would you feel going to a pharmacist, doctor, lawyer, teacher, or even cashier at wal-mart and instructing them on how to do their job if you have never done that same job yourself? Silly right? But people love to tell a Senior Pastor and other church leaders how to do their job.
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This week I was able to attend the UNLEASH one day conference in Anderson, SC. It’s a conference for church leaders and I was able to tag along with The GBC staff. Not knowing what to expect, I went in with an open heart and walked away challenged and completely rocked! Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that I was blasting out non-stop, especially during the Clayton King breakout session called ‘Protecting Your Pastor’.
Clayton opened the session by reading aloud an email he received in response to a podcast of this sermon he had preached previously at Newspring. Please take a moment to read Clayton’s blogpost of this heart-breaking letter:
March 5, 2010
Protecting Your Pastor
Filed under: Blog Post — Clayton King @ 7:51 am
Many folks asked me to post this on my blog yesterday at UNLEASH. This is an email I received from a pastor not long ago after I preached a message called “Protecting Your Pastor.” I read this from the stage yesterday (with permission and name with held) to help church people understand what their pastor goes through. Please, pass this on to everyone you know who has a pastor, loves the church, and wants to better understand how to protect and serve their pastor.Dear Clayton,
I really appreciate the message that you preached at Newspring on “Protecting Your Pastor.” Since I listened to it on your podcast, I have been reading your blog, esp. the Monday blog posts about what happens in a pastors body and emotions after Sundays. I wish I could get the rest of my church to read your blog and listen to that sermon, but it would come across like I was expecting them to feel sorry for me.
I think I am at the point of burning out, quitting all together, or doing something really stupid. I feel like a stranger inside my own skin. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m really in a mess right now.
My ears ring constantly. My blood pressure is through the roof and I have put on 15 pounds in the last 9 months. It’s all because of the **** that I’ve been dealing with at church. People are getting saved, marriages are being restored, new people are coming, and God’s blessing, but Satan is attacking and he is using people in the church to do it. They will not change. They fight everything that’s new. They spread rumors and lies and keep stuff stirred up all the time. It’s never ending. As long as we kept the status quo, they loved me. Now they hate me, and the deacons are leading the charge against me and I don’t think anyone understands how lonely I am.
I never sleep. I just take naps, but I always wake up with my heart pounding like I jut ran up the stairs. I’ve tried sleeping pills, but quit because I got hooked on em. I am always tense and my neck and back hurt constantly. I have imaginary conversations in my head with people where I defend myself to them since no one else is getting my back. I don’t trust anyone in the church and have even become paranoid that my own staff are undermining me, even though I know this is all a lie from the devil.
I get shaky and scared every time I think about Sunday and having to go back to that church and the critics. I’ve had a couple of panic attacks. I can’t focus on anything anymore. I can’t even concentrate on small decisions like where to go eat dinner or what to wear. I snap at my wife all the time and I have no patience with my children at all. They all know something is wrong with me and I do too. I just don’t know what to do about it. I can’t tell anyone cause I might lose my job if they think I don’t have it all together. I just wanna be alone all the time and I am scared.
I wish I had just one person who knew how to protect this pastor.Dear God, please help us to love, pray for, support, undergird, and rally around the men of God that you have chosen to lead us. Help us to give them the benefit of the doubt and to get their back. Help us stop the bleeding in the church by serving and honoring those that You have given us as shepherds. Amen!
I love my Pastor, he’s also my friend. I’m very stoked to have him in my life. I understand that he is human, he’s not Jesus!!! I understand that he’s accepted a calling that will have him judged more harshly by God than myself or anyone in the congregation. I understand he’s not perfect. I understand he’s in need of God’s grace. I don’t want to ‘control him’, I want God to do that! I’m thankful that God never called me to be a Pastor. I’d be burnt out in a week! :-) I’ve had friends I love bury him with false accusations. I’ve seen people seeking ‘control’ spread twisted information to gather a small army so they can get things back to the way they were…when the life-support was turned off! I’ve heard of other preachers who can’t engage 20 people on a Sunday morning verbally attack his ‘non-traditional GB’ methods that are bringing in new folks every week..most of who have written off church altogether beforehand! Those people are having transforming experiences with Christ! The spiritually dead are coming back to life and it’s cause to rejoice!!!!! Don’t miss that! When do you think the angels rejoice more..when a Christian discovers your church..or when a lost soul experiences salvation? Maybe you disagree, but I think growing the kingdom is more exciting than making those already saved feel good.
Man, this is long.
I’ll wrap it up with some random thoughts and shout outs to some folks important to me!
* Ask any Christian parent if they are willing to do anything to reach their kids for Chirst and they will across the board say ‘absolutely’… Ask them if they were willing to die to see that happen..most will say, again; absolutely!…Now ask them if that includes changing the music style on a Sunday morning to see that happen for possibly a more honest answer….. :-)
* Of the many things I need to repent of daily..I’m happy to report that discouraging my pastor isn’t one of them.
* Dear professor: you say that ministers should stand still with two hands on the podium and preach a sermon a certain prescribed ‘right way’ to be effective…so why isn’t it working in 2010? Fair question I think.
* Without God’s grace, we are ALL doomed. Romans 3:10
*Worship leaders can pray all week long for a service, beg for God’s leading on song selection and someone can dismiss all of that in 5 seconds if they ‘don’t like it’ as per their personal taste. This applies to other areas of ministry too. Think about it.
*I’m still on this kick about not giving the 2% negative power to wreck the 98% positive. It’s working out GREAT!
* I will never get bent over someone leaving a church as long as they attend another. I will get worked up if someone leaves a church and never wants to set foot in another one again. There is nothing wrong with finding a church to meet your spiritual needs. There are thousands to choose from.As long as the core is Christ and him crucified, resurrected and the way to life..I believe you’re in a good place. Now, if people leave your church and new people stop coming as well, take a step back, seek wisdom and carefully examine the problem at hand.
* We all need to repent of something..do it now and move forward!
* God is good.
Shout Outs
Pastor Steve Akins and family- Thank you.
Heather Rowe (my wife and worship leader) – Thank you.
Robin and Brian Resenbeck (Children ministry) – Thank you.
Bart and Jackie Wagner (Youth Leaders) – Thank you. (You do a far better job than I ever did! Exciting to see kids not hate church and run away after graduation!)
Dorothy Hackworth (Secretary)- Thank you.
John and Beth Schmitt (Janitorial) – Thank you.
John and Medena Boyd (AngelFood and Celebrate Recovery ministries) – Thank you.
Tobias and Sheila Odom (Celebrate Recovery & Financial Peace) – Thank You
GBC Deacons – Thank you. (Especially those who call Pastor to encourage him not out of obligation, but out of love!)
Sunday School, Greeters, Audio/Tech & Worship Team Volunteers – Thank you.
Ok…that’s a lot to take in. Feel free to comment, but please pay attention to what I say and not what I don’t. This is to prevent incorrect assumptions since this is text and it’s easy to imagine what’s not there sometimes.
Be encouraged, repent, worship, LIVE!
jamie